Lauren Wetmore <████████████████████████████████ >
To: Josh Schwebel <privatejosh@gmail.com>
Hi Josh,
I've just finished going through MBL's text. Needless to say, it is terrific. My main edits are around a few word choices, some copy-editing, and a few encouragements to define terms - just general housekeeping as I feel like your notes took on any meatier issues that arose for me.
One note of yours that I wanted to discuss comes on page six where you ask her to "paraphrase what the neoliberal doctrine and the capitalist critique are." While I always agree with the need to define terms, I think these two have been used so consistently throughout the essay (and indeed in the general discourse) as to not warrant further attention in this instance. I feel like, if she was to get into exacts on these two fronts, rather than the context-building the essay is doing around the terms, she would have to do that right at the top, which might result in a "in the beginning of time, there was Capitalism" tone to the essay.
My thought is that this should be the final round of edits that we ask MBL to do on this text (except for some style, citation and copy-editing I will do at the end) and we ask that she get it back to us by mid-July. What do you think?
So exciting to see it coming together!
Lx