checking in

I wanted to say congrats on your new piece, I saw it on instagram, it's super brilliant! 

I also wanted to check in on how the text is coming along. It is not urgent, but I do want to keep an eye towards a first draft.

warm greetings,

Josh

Thank you for the kind words, I'm so pleased to hear it resonated. It's a strange little gesture that I've been pondering for a long time, so I am glad to have it out and to see where (if anywhere) it leads.

I also wanted to apologise for my total AWOL behaviour. 

After our conversations in December, talking the work through with you and its broader contexts/implications, I felt invigorated about the project and, beyond this, just generally grateful for the shared exchange. It made me realise the extent of my isolation over the last few years, both in terms of social relationships and fruitful working ones too (and the way these blend together in the best of cases). But by the end of the year and as we entered 2022, I essentially crumbled. A combination of precarious teaching fatigue and the escalating covid crisis here in Sydney compounded already-existing anxiety/depression and I found myself shutting down. Maria and I left the city for what was supposed to only be ten days, but ended up hiding away for over a month at her folks place, just not really able to face the idea of coming back to "real life". I'd hoped I could at least use this downtime to focus on returning to your text, but I've really struggled, and I feel terrible for letting you down in this way. I know how important the work is to you, and how frustrating the experience has already been with Covid delays.

In terms of moving forward, I want to be as honest as I can about my capabilities. While I would still very much like to be involved in what I think is a really valuable project, I don't feel I can promise you a comprehensive essay in the near-future. I wonder if you would be open to returning to your original suggestion for the book: that we produce something more akin to an interview/discussion/Q&A? I feel that our conversations around the work have been very fruitful, and I have (perhaps selfishly) enjoyed this way of thinking in dialogue about the work. The piece, in its relation to some of the ideas in Recessional Aesthetics, seems to open up new questions for both of us each time we talk, and I wonder if this more open conversational format might be able to hold these tensions more productively than a standalone essay. I would be happy to develop a structuring line of questions which we could work through over a series of recorded calls, and to edit/synthesise this material down into a final document for the book.

Of course, if this doesn't feel quite right for the book as you imagine it, or if you would prefer to contact another writer for the project, I would entirely understand. 

Hoping you are safe and well, 

Love and cheers,

Mitch

Dear Mitch,

Thanks for your message. I do absolutely understand. I have also really been struggling to uphold my commitments. I just go through periods where it feels very hard to find the motivation or focus. I am sorry you are feeling this way, and can certainly relate.

I agree that our conversations have been so stimulating, and have also helped me to understand the project better. Composing your contribution as a conversation could be a fitting form for the publication, especially if it feels more approachable for you. I think that these delays and limits are just part of our current condition. It is not just you, the other writer-contributors are also struggling, as am I. I am also very grateful to you for feeling able to set limits to your commitments and capacities. Since we are all over our limits, navigating our capacity for productivity is part of this project as well.

In very real terms I also feel extremely disconnected, and admire your work so much, since to me, it seems to accurate, without waste, without any sloppiness. When I see your work I always think to myself that I wish my practice could be as undissociated as yours! So I wonder if in parallel to this publication project there might be a way to structure ongoing exchanges or to set in motion some kind of collaboration between us structured by exchange. Would that be of interest to you? Not to add more work, but to achieve a sense of mutual support and ongoing contact.

Josh